Changing Paths challenge day 21 — family

There are two types of family — the one you were born into, and the one you choose. If your birth family is problematic for some reason, you can create your own.

Some families have a lot of secrets and lies (remember that great movie by Mike Leigh?). This can make family life uncomfortable as you try to avoid all those minefields.

Some of my favourite movies about families are LGBT+ ones: The Birdcage, with Robin Williams (I prefer it to the original French version, La Cage aux Folles, because it’s more upbeat about gay life); and Torch Song Trilogy, which I haven’t seen for decades but it really stayed with me. These are movies about LGBT+ people making their own families because their families of origin don’t accept them, or don’t fully understand or accept them.

The Birdcage ends with this classic song by Sister Sledge:

This is a song about Black sisterhood and/or feminist sisterhood but it’s also an anthem to chosen family, I think, or has been adopted as such.

Family at its best can be affirming of who you are and where you’re going. It should be like this and your roots should be able to nourish your branches and leaves.

Many LGBT+ people are still being treated badly by their families of origin, and are still having to create their own families.

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Changing Paths is published by 1000Volt Press and is available from all the usual online stores. Ask your local bookseller or library to stock it!

The goal of the book is to help you decide your own path by guiding you through the perils and pitfalls of the terrain, and asking questions to help you deepen your understanding of the reasons for your desire to change paths.

The book also contains sections on the interaction between religion and gender, and religion and sexuality (both negative and positive interactions).