High control covens

There’s a new article from Storm Faerywolf on The Wild Hunt today talking about the warning signs of high control groups and covens.

Members of these damaged covens are often instructed not to socialize with others outside the group, or lineage, or are otherwise told certain individuals to avoid. Information is often restricted; leadership oftentimes telling congregants that certain books or materials are forbidden, especially those that challenge the teachings or politics of group leadership.

I’ve written similar articles and lists before too.

And my book Changing Paths is about how to extricate yourself from high control groups and find a healthy group or tradition.

Toxic positivity

There’s a phenomenon in spirituality circles where negativity is strongly discouraged by practitioners. I believe it is known as toxic positivity.

Speaking about negative things or criticising yourself and others was frowned upon. “It was a good-vibes-only kind of mentality,” Miranda explains. “Some of that comes from yogic philosophy, but it’s been exaggerated. You see it everywhere on social media – reels, memes and soundbites about positivity bordering on toxic. Tara Yoga took it to the extreme.” In hindsight, she says, “These thought patterns cause you to overlook your own boundaries, especially when it comes to trusting ourselves.” Yet the idea of letting go of your existing beliefs to become happier and more enlightened was appealing: the idea that you can manifest your way to a better life.

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Be like Cathy

When I was 14 or 15 years old and still a Christian, a boy who was older than me (17, I think) told me that God wanted me to be his girlfriend. I didn’t reciprocate but I was worried enough about it that I asked an older female friend, Cathy, what she thought. Luckily for me, she said that if God wanted me to be in a relationship with him, I would feel the same way about it. Thank you, Cathy. 

And thankfully the boy accepted that the answer was no.

The girl in this story (Sarah Carr) didn’t have a Cathy. She finally got justice after nearly 25 years.

The pastor who was betrothed to a child — Friendly Atheist

She has also started a group to help people in the same situation:

the Reclamation Collective, a non-profit group that creates space for those “harmed within religious and spiritual spaces.”

Sarah Carr

Afterlife jokes

When I was a kid, there was this joke.

A man goes to heaven. As he’s walking along the entrance hall with St Peter, he sees a closed door. He asks who’s in there. St Peter says, “Sssshhh, that’s the Plymouth Brethren* in there — they think they’re the only ones here.”

(* Insert obnoxious denomination of your choice)

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Review: An Apostate’s Guide to Witchcraft

Once upon a time, Christendom labelled the Emperor Julian “the Apostate” because he reverted to Paganism. Nowadays, the title is applied to people who leave the Jehovah’s Witnesses.

Moss Matthey left the JWs in order to live his truth as a gay man—as many others have left high control religious groups for the same reason.

Not long after he left, he discovered witchcraft, as well as a loving relationship and a community of Pagans and witches and occultists.

This joyous and life-affirming book is the account of his journey from fear and despair to the joy of living as his authentic self, as a gay man and as a witch.

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Conversion therapy survivors flag

I’ve just seen this announcement from the Conversion Therapy Survivors Network on Facebook:

The votes are in! Hunter Moore‘s design will now become the FIRST-ever Conversion Therapy Survivor Flag!

Grey: Represents PTSD and memory loss.
Pink: Symbolizes sexual abuse and marginalization.
Blue: Stands for domestic violence.
Triangle: Inspired by the progress pride flag, it represents survivors overcoming these struggles.
Lavender/Purple: Highlights identity, pride, and community.
Gold/Yellow: Signifies hope.
Green: Reflects the truth of who we naturally are.

The conversion therapy survivors flag designed by Hunter Moore

I wrote about the effects of conversion therapy in Changing Paths. It is an extremely damaging practice that does extensive harm, including psychological, physical, emotional, financial damage. It even harms people’s career prospects by diverting them away from their studies toward trying to do the impossible. Conversion therapy is a form of spiritual abuse.

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Deconstruction story: Richard Swan

A friend shared a Facebook post by Richard Swan (in the fun group Dull Men’s Club) today, talking about how vanishingly few people are tone deaf, and most people can sing.

Richard Swan

I take the view that singing is an outpouring of the soul and one of the cruellest things a person can do is to tell someone else that they can’t sing, so this is a topic that is very close to my heart.

My interest was piqued so I went searching to find out more about Richard Swan. He’s also written a book for people who think they can’t sing, which looks very worthwhile. And in my travels I found this podcast about his deconstruction journey and wanted to share it.

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