I said that anger is valid because it helps to propel us out of dangerous and abusive situations in Changing Paths (the book).
I love that Jo Luehmann has talked about the neurological aspects of processing your anger in this post, and most importantly talking about it—absolutely brilliant. I think that if you turn anger inwards, it becomes stress and depression.
Continue readingChanging Paths challenge day 21 — family
There are two types of family — the one you were born into, and the one you choose. If your birth family is problematic for some reason, you can create your own.
Continue readingThe power of stories to change and challenge a person’s worldview is immense. My worldview was definitely informed by reading A Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula Le Guin, Tolkien’s The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings, The Writing on the Hearth by Cynthia Harnett (now sadly forgotten by most people), Mary Stewart’s Arthurian trilogy, and The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint Exupéry. And of course the Narnia series by CS Lewis, and many other books depicting a magical mythopoeic worldview. Ursula Le Guin’s science fiction was and remains extremely important to me.
Continue readingChanging paths is a wibbly-wobbly thing. During the process, I was all over the place. It was like having the bends (you know, the thing where a diver rises too quickly to the surface and gets cramps) or being on a giant scary roller coaster ride. That’s why I wrote the book, in the hope of helping other people to have a gentler ride through the process — regardless of their starting point or destination. Although the second half is about joining Paganism, it’s fairly applicable to joining any group.
Continue readingReligion can be divided into two types, high glycemic index and low glycemic index. High glycemic index gives you a big rush where everything seems really great and then you come down with a big crash afterwards. Low glycemic index is slow and steady, nourishes the soul, and keeps you going through the hard times.
Continue readingReaders of Changing Paths may wonder why I chose not to address theological questions like the existence of God, what happens in the afterlife, and related questions.
The first part of the book is aimed at people seeking to leave a variety of high-control traditions, which could be anything including fundamentalist Christianity, fundamentalist Islam, high-control new religions such as Scientology, and even high-control versions of Paganism.
For each of these traditions, the theological arguments are different, so rather than devote a large amount of space to them in the book, or write yet another book about why a supreme creator deity does not exist, I wanted to write about extricating yourself psychologically from harmful religious traditions.
Continue readingI had a wonderful chat with Hana the Suburban Witch yesterday for her podcast, and today she has posted a wonderful review of Changing Paths (she was one of the advance readers and is quoted on the cover).
“Changing Paths by Yvonne Aburrow is a down to earth and extremely practical book on the complexities and intricacies of switching belief systems. Yvonne’s words will leave you feeling deeply seen, especially if changing religions is something you have already encountered in your life. If you have not yet made the switch, it will provide you with the framework and steps necessary to make those changes for your future if need be.
Yvonne’s tone is gentle, understanding and to the point which makes this book a refreshing change to others that try to tackle the dense topic of personal religion. Yvonne’s words are kind and accepting of all beliefs making this a book that is truly for everyone. I especially love how they sum up the best way to know if your chosen religion is beneficial to you or not: “If religion or spirituality makes us more disconnected from other people, less compassionate, less rational, then it is harmful. If on the other hand, it enables us to feel more love and compassion for others, and be better able to cope with the sorrowful aspects of life, then it is helpful.”
Covering topics such as religious trauma, gender and sexuality acceptance within various religions, the religious issues with patriarchy and opposite issues associated with a matriarchy and following it all up with a rich guide on joining or converting to paganism in any of its many forms. Changing Paths is a well-researched and easy to absorb book filled with wisdom and practical advice on what can often be a difficult and confusing topic for many people.
I truly wish I had a copy of this book during my own transition from evangelical Christianity to Witchcraft. It would have saved me a lot of frustration, confusion and ill-informed anger by providing the guidance and prompts required of a shift that big.”
— Hana the Suburban Witch
Do check out the rest of the review on her blog. I feel deeply seen and appreciated after reading it.
There’s a huge variety of exvangelical podcasts helping people deconstruct from toxic churches. Check out this list to discover some helpful ones.
Continue readingThere’s a good article in The Guardian today about the nasty psychological effects of being exposed to constant propaganda about the rapture and being “left behind”. Trigger warning if you’ve been exposed to that kind of bad theology. Thankfully I left the evangelical nonsense before the trend for making these movies happened.
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Changing Paths 