Great post about DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender), a tactic frequently used in high control religions to prevent their adherents from leaving.
escaping from cults
Red flags
The best dating site, in my opinion, is OKCupid, because you can ask and answer questions about your dealbreaker issues. Then you don’t need to go on a date with some idiot who believes stuff like “women should submit to their husbands” or “pregnant rape victims should carry the foetus to term”.
Continue readingDeprogramming with Gillian Jenkinson
Just got an update from Gillian Jenkinson:
Inside the Cult of the Jesus Army BBC2 27 July and 3 August 9pm
I had the privilege of being filmed delivering Post-Cult Counselling in a Recovery Workshop for a documentary “Inside the Cult of the Jesus Army” with four amazing survivors. This was filmed at my house in the Hope Valley by a wonderful team who have been very professional and supportive in every way throughout this process.
The two-part documentary includes a history of JA and archive material, interviews and the Recovery Workshop and is being screened on Sunday 27th July and 3rd August at 9pm on BBC 2. It will be on BBC iPlayer from 27th July.
There will also be a podcast (which I am not involved with) which will be very interesting as it will address legal issues around cults/coercive control amongst many other things.
Toxic positivity
There’s a phenomenon in spirituality circles where negativity is strongly discouraged by practitioners. I believe it is known as toxic positivity.
Continue readingSpeaking about negative things or criticising yourself and others was frowned upon. “It was a good-vibes-only kind of mentality,” Miranda explains. “Some of that comes from yogic philosophy, but it’s been exaggerated. You see it everywhere on social media – reels, memes and soundbites about positivity bordering on toxic. Tara Yoga took it to the extreme.” In hindsight, she says, “These thought patterns cause you to overlook your own boundaries, especially when it comes to trusting ourselves.” Yet the idea of letting go of your existing beliefs to become happier and more enlightened was appealing: the idea that you can manifest your way to a better life.
Review: An Apostate’s Guide to Witchcraft
Once upon a time, Christendom labelled the Emperor Julian “the Apostate” because he reverted to Paganism. Nowadays, the title is applied to people who leave the Jehovah’s Witnesses.
Moss Matthey left the JWs in order to live his truth as a gay man—as many others have left high control religious groups for the same reason.
Not long after he left, he discovered witchcraft, as well as a loving relationship and a community of Pagans and witches and occultists.
This joyous and life-affirming book is the account of his journey from fear and despair to the joy of living as his authentic self, as a gay man and as a witch.
Continue readingThe sunk cost fallacy
One of the reasons that people tend to stay in toxic relationships and religions, persist with failing projects, and even watch terrible movies all the way to the end, is the sunk cost fallacy.
Continue readingDeconstruction story: Richard Swan
A friend shared a Facebook post by Richard Swan (in the fun group Dull Men’s Club) today, talking about how vanishingly few people are tone deaf, and most people can sing.
I take the view that singing is an outpouring of the soul and one of the cruellest things a person can do is to tell someone else that they can’t sing, so this is a topic that is very close to my heart.
My interest was piqued so I went searching to find out more about Richard Swan. He’s also written a book for people who think they can’t sing, which looks very worthwhile. And in my travels I found this podcast about his deconstruction journey and wanted to share it.
Continue readingA healing journey
A new book from Moss Matthey, An apostate’s guide to witchcraft: finding freedom through magic, explores his personal journey from fundamentalist Christianity to witchcraft.
Moss writes:
Continue readingThis book is about my journey from a fundamentalist Christian cult to the joyous and freeing world of Witchcraft. Blending my personal experience with gentle exercises, this book is for anyone who is curious about witchcraft and alternative spirituality. It is also great for those seeking a way in to witchcraft, especially so if they are coming to this path from another faith. It focuses on joy, enchantment and freedom, to leave any reader feeling uplifted and inspired.
State funding removed from Norwegian JWs
In Norway, subject to rules about not being coercive or oppressive, all religious groups can apply for state funding.
Due to the JWs’ practice of disfellowshipping and shunning people who leave, including children, the Norwegian government has removed their funding.
Friendly Atheist: Norwegian court upholds ban on state funding of Jehovah’s Witnesses
Religious trauma workbook
I’m excited to see that Gillian Jenkinson’s book is out! Gillian Jenkinson is a therapist with extensive experience in helping people break free of harmful beliefs dinned into them by cults. I quoted her work in Changing Paths (my book) and I’ve been looking forward to her book coming out.
It’s also very reasonably priced, presumably to make it accessible to those who need it.
Continue reading
Changing Paths 