deconstruction

Longing, Sehnsucht

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Changing Paths challenge day 23 — longing.

There are various words in other languages that can be approximately translated as longing or yearning. Sehnsucht (German), a longing for a person or a place. Saudade (Portuguese), melancholic longing for a person or a place. Hiraeth (Welsh), a longing for home, possibly unattainable since we cannot revisit the past. Tizita (Amharic-Ethiopian), a longing or yearning, which has given its name to a style of music. Romanian has the word dor, which comes from the Latin word dolus which means “pain” and is related to the Romanian word durere (which means “pain”).

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Check your baggage

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Changing Paths: unexamined baggage
🧳 🎒💼👝👜

This is an excerpt from my book, ‘Changing Paths’:

“Changing your religious or spiritual path can result in unexamined spiritual, emotional, and intellectual baggage from your previous tradition, which can cause all sorts of issues from depression to anger. We all need to unpack and deal with our unexamined baggage. The Tarot card of the fool traditionally depicts a small dog leaping up and biting the Fool’s butt. The dog can be seen as representing material from the unconscious trying to attract the attention of the conscious mind.

It can also be problematic when we bring this unexamined baggage to the Pagan community and expect Pagan traditions to look like the ones that we left. Many people, unless they have engaged in a very thorough deconstruction and reconstruction of their beliefs and attitudes, bring some of their views and expectations from their previous tradition into their new one.”

Changing Paths is published by 1000Volt Press and is available from all the usual online stores. Ask your local bookseller or library to stock it!

The goal of the book is to help you decide your own path by guiding you through the perils and pitfalls of the terrain, and asking questions to help you deepen your understanding of the reasons for your desire to change paths.

Wibbly wobbly

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Changing Paths challenge day 14: changing paths.

Changing paths is a wibbly-wobbly thing. During the process, I was all over the place. It was like having the bends (you know, the thing where a diver rises too quickly to the surface and gets cramps) or being on a giant scary roller coaster ride. That’s why I wrote the book, in the hope of helping other people to have a gentler ride through the process — regardless of their starting point or destination. Although the second half is about joining Paganism, it’s fairly applicable to joining any group.

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Smash that Protestant lens

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Great piece from John Beckett this morning which covers some really good points about how to write about different religions, why the word “religion” should not be used as a synonym for Christianity, and how not all religions fit the “Protestant lens” (the way people tend to use the Protestant paradigm as a way to try to make sense of other religions—which doesn’t work).

Decentering Christianity in Religious Discussions

Theological questions

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Readers of Changing Paths may wonder why I chose not to address theological questions like the existence of God, what happens in the afterlife, and related questions.

The first part of the book is aimed at people seeking to leave a variety of high-control traditions, which could be anything including fundamentalist Christianity, fundamentalist Islam, high-control new religions such as Scientology, and even high-control versions of Paganism.

For each of these traditions, the theological arguments are different, so rather than devote a large amount of space to them in the book, or write yet another book about why a supreme creator deity does not exist, I wanted to write about extricating yourself psychologically from harmful religious traditions.

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Review from Suburban Witchery

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I had a wonderful chat with Hana the Suburban Witch yesterday for her podcast, and today she has posted a wonderful review of Changing Paths (she was one of the advance readers and is quoted on the cover).

“Changing Paths by Yvonne Aburrow is a down to earth and extremely practical book on the complexities and intricacies of switching belief systems. Yvonne’s words will leave you feeling deeply seen, especially if changing religions is something you have already encountered in your life. If you have not yet made the switch, it will provide you with the framework and steps necessary to make those changes for your future if need be.

Yvonne’s tone is gentle, understanding and to the point which makes this book a refreshing change to others that try to tackle the dense topic of personal religion. Yvonne’s words are kind and accepting of all beliefs making this a book that is truly for everyone. I especially love how they sum up the best way to know if your chosen religion is beneficial to you or not: “If religion or spirituality makes us more disconnected from other people, less compassionate, less rational, then it is harmful. If on the other hand, it enables us to feel more love and compassion for others, and be better able to cope with the sorrowful aspects of life, then it is helpful.”

Covering topics such as religious trauma, gender and sexuality acceptance within various religions, the religious issues with patriarchy and opposite issues associated with a matriarchy and following it all up with a rich guide on joining or converting to paganism in any of its many forms. Changing Paths is a well-researched and easy to absorb book filled with wisdom and practical advice on what can often be a difficult and confusing topic for many people.

I truly wish I had a copy of this book during my own transition from evangelical Christianity to Witchcraft. It would have saved me a lot of frustration, confusion and ill-informed anger by providing the guidance and prompts required of a shift that big.”

— Hana the Suburban Witch

Do check out the rest of the review on her blog. I feel deeply seen and appreciated after reading it.